Teen Dating Violence: Parent’s Guide
What do teens (and their parents) need to know to prevent and end dating violence?
Navigating through your teens dating life can be challenging. It can be even trickier trying to address the issue of teen dating violence. According to Love is Respect, approximately 1 in 3 teens have experienced some form of teen dating violence. The best way to ensure your teenager can handle relationships in a healthy way is to establish a good support system. A national study, “Parenting Profiles and Adolescent Dating Relationship Abuse: Attitudes and Experiences”, determined that positive parenting contributed significantly to adolescents being less tolerant of unhealthy and abusive relationship behaviors. This proves that parents serve as an important role model in healthy relationship behavior. Not only do adolescents look to their parents to show what healthy relationships can look like, they also rely on them for support.
What if My Child Won’t Open Up?
Parents may feel that when it comes to talking about dating, their kids can be closed off. It may seem as if teens only want to open up to their friends about the romantic relationships in their lives. However, engaging in these conversations with your children can go a long way in helping them understand how to set boundaries in their relationship. It may be up to you to start these conversations. While your teen may not open up at first, with consistency, they may feel more comfortable talking to you.
What Do We Talk About?
Allow your teen to talk through any relationship difficulties they may be experiencing. Lend a supportive ear. Validate their feelings. Try to empathize with them. Be careful of judgment. Accept what they tell you. During these conversations, things may come up that are difficult for you to hear. Set aside your feelings for a moment to allow your child to process. Remind them of their values and their boundaries. Doing this allows your child to process these events and instill in them the autonomy they need to get through it. Remember, to your teenager, these relationships are a big deal. They may open up about abusive and/or sexual behaviors that can be hard for a parent to hear, remember their physical and emotional safety is the most important thing. Reinstate what healthy relationships should be like by talking to them about boundaries, respect, healthy communication, and honesty.
What Do I Do If My Child is in Abusive Relationship?
Talk to them about the signs of abuse. The teen power and control wheel (shown below) outlines what these behaviors commonly look like in teen relationships Talk to them about how the behaviors of their partner make them feel, and remind them that relationships are meant to make you feel safe, secure, and respected, not hurt. The goal is to give your child the support and strength to choose to leave. When this decision is made for them, it can further alienate the teen, driving them closer to their partner.
If you would like further information on how to address teen dating violence with your child, check out Love is Respect’s parent discussion guide at: https://www.loveisrespect.org/wp-content/uploads/media/sites/3/2021/09/Parent-Guide-2021_TAF_love-is-respect.pdf
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